he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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