You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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