how can u be prego again
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
