the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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