I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
