Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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