I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize