i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
