can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
