I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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