You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
