it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
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I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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