he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
