I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
