Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize