So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
