epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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