put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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