everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
