U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
