also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize