yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
