You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
