oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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