i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
