just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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