hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize