Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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