Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you had me at cake vodka
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
