i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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