rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
