Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
