I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
