I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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