Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm bleeding and have questions
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
