Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
