Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
