3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
