the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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