You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
