Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
