Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
