He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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