He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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