she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You have to summon your inner elephant
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
