Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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