I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wat bout pragnant strippers??
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
