More tranny stories later!
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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