So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
