Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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