all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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