Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
