I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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