So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
