Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm too high and old for this...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
