i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
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We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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