If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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