5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All I want is dick and wine.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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