its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
