HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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