So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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