there's paper in my vomit.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize